Phone sex & Christmas cookies

My first date with Alex was...nice. It was more like meeting a friend for coffee than an actual date. Just comfortable and fun. Not what I was expecting, but it was okay. But this week, the phone conversations have been weird. Alex seems to think that one date means we move on to phone sex. Um, no. Not now. Probably not ever. Ugh.

In the words of UB40:
where are the roses and whispered sighs
where are the compliments and dreaming eyes

I'm still being a total slug about diet and exercise. I blame it almost entirely on the weather. (And Christmas cookies.) Winter makes me want to do nothing but eat and sleep. Fortunately, I'm not gaining and my weight is staying pretty solidly between 207 and 210. But I've pretty much ruined my chances of reaching Onederland by Christmas. I really need to break out of this funk.

Two Sides of Happy

Not happy about...

I've gotten very lazy about my food and exercise. Luckily, my body doesn't seem to yet realize this and I still saw a loss on the scale this week. But I know I need to get my butt back in gear. Soon.

Very happy about...

Alex asked me out on a date. I'm six kinds of excited. :D And I promise I'll tell you about it.

Dating. Dieting. Etc.

How's the dieting, you ask? Could be better, I answer. I slid off the wagon a bit while on vacation at the end of October, and I never fully got back on. Partly, laziness. Partly, just too ^$@* busy with work to give a lot of thought to food. Partly, fear. Onederland is unknown territory (I haven't been there in a very very long time) and there's a part of me that wants to stay where it's comfortable.

And exercise? Ha! The time change, shorter daylight hours, dreadful weather, and an insane work schedule have totally thrown my exercise routine into a shambles. I guess there's some small consolation in acknowledging that I at least miss it. Miss it quite a bit in fact.

Just a quick update on the dating front (for those of you who are following those posts). I continue to be charmed by Eric (the artist) and Alex (the nurse). I learned this evening in a phone conversation with Bill that he plays Santa Claus during the holidays. You have no idea how desperately I'm hoping he asks me out....just so I can say I dated Santa! LOL! Things are a bit bumpy with Chris (redneck #1)....so I think communication with him may be coming to an end. Bradley (redneck #2) is off the list.

I start online college classes again next week. Ugh. I'm not sure how exactly how I'm going to juggle work, school, exercise & diet, AND dating. It was difficult enough before dating entered the mix.

Choices choices

When I signed up for an account with an online dating service, I made the decision that I would just let things happen and not aggressively try to pursue anyone or anything. Honestly, I wasn't really expecting much, so to have active communications going on with *five* different men is a pleasant surprise. Either I'm attractive and interesting....or there are a lot of desperate men out there. ;)

So right now these are my choices.

Eric. Definitely at the top of the list right now. He's an artist, which earns him automatic bonus points. He's articulate, easy to converse with, interesting, and reasonably good looking.

Alex. He's witty, fun, intelligent, and always keeps me guessing (in a good way). He's a nurse, and cute (though shorter in height than what I generally consider attractive). The major downfall with Alex is that he's an atheist which I'm more than a little uncomfortable about. I'm not overly religious, but my faith is important to me, and I'd like to have that in common.

Bill. He's a big sweet romantic teddy bear. He says all the right things without seeming like he's just try to impress me. Right now, I'd think he'd be a fabulous date, but I'm not quite so sure about anything long term.

Bradley and Chris. They are both charming rednecks. Beer, cars, hunting, country music. They both call me "hun" and try to woo me with words even though they are completely incapable of spelling. :) I'm uncertain about both of them, because they don't fit what I would describe as "my type," but I'm willing to admit that maybe I need to revise that.

It will be interesting to see where this goes....

Dating

I've always thought that people who did it were insane, desperate, or both. But I did it. I signed up for account at an online dating website.

I've been single and celibate for many years. But lately I've really been realizing that (1) I do not want to die without ever being kissed again and (2) I do not want to live the rest of my life alone.

The decision wasn't easy to make, not only because I think online dating websites are a bit creepy and hokey. No, the thing is, if I were to label myself, I would have to say I'm bisexual. In fact, I prefer women to men. But I've never been able to fully settle in my heart whether God's Word condones homosexuality, and I'm not willing to risk my faith for the choice. Also, my family and many friends are opposed to homosexuality, and my relationships with them are more important than my need to be in a relationship with a woman.

My experience with the website has so far been interesting and fun. I'm being cautious - very cautious. But it's very enjoyable to meet new people...and to flirt. I've made a few connections, and have chatted with them via the website's email or instant messaging. An artist, a nurse, and a redneck. Interesting combo, eh? Artistic types make me swoon, but there's something so sexy about a guy fixing a car and chugging a beer. :)

My only expectation right now is to have a date for New Year's. For a very long time, I've been missing that midnight kiss as the clock chimes in the new year.